| TRUE BLOOD SEASON 1 QUOTE | SPOKEN BY | EPISODE |
| "You're wearing gold pants!" | Jason to Lafayette | Ep. 103: Mine |
| "Someone needs to get down on my Johnson." | Liam to anyone (Janella did the deed) | Ep. 103: Mine |
| "Bill, you were just licking blood out of my head. I don't think it gets much more personal than that." | Sookie | Ep. 102: The First Taste |
| "I'm not so sure you even have another side; you no account backwoods trash!" | Sookie | Ep. 101: Strange Love |
| "Don't say UH-OH! Vampires do NOT say UH-OH!" | Sookie | Ep. 104: Escape From Dragon House |
| "Take your clip out? May I? I can smell the sunlight on your skin." | Bill | Ep. 102: The First Taste |
| "Oh, but you have many other very juicy arteries. There's one in the groin that's a particular favorite of mine." | Bill | Ep. 101: Strange Love |
| "Sookie, this is very strange." | Bill | Ep. 102: The First Taste |
| "You're dumber than a box o' hair, and now you can't even get it up?" | Dawn | Ep. 103: Mine |
| "Giving Jason Stackhouse vampire blood is like giving Ho-Hos to a diabetic. You know he can't control himself." | Tara | Ep. 105: Sparks Fly Out |
| "'Scuse me. Who ordered the hamburger... with AIDS? In this restaurant, a hamburger deluxe comes with french fries, lettuce, tomato, mayo, and AIDS! Do anyone got a problem wit dat? Aw baby, it's too late for that. Faggots been breeding your cows, raisin' your chickens, even brewin' your beer long before I walked my sexy ass up in this mother f***er. Everything on your God damn table got aids. Well all you gots to do is say hold the aids here. Eat it! Bitch, you come into my house ,you gonna eat the food THE WAY I F***IN' MAKE IT! Do you understand me? Tip your waitress." | Lafayette | Ep. 105: Sparks Fly Out |
| "Tell me, Sheriff, were any of these unfortunate women found exsanguinated? Were they completely drained of their blood? Because, a fresh corpse, full of blood, would be irresistible to any vampire. (licks his lips!) I dare say, not even I..." | Bill to Bud & Andy | Ep. 105: Sparks Fly Out |
| I've got gout... of the dick!" | Jason to Lafayette | Ep. 104: Escape From Dragon House |
| "FANGtasia?" | Sookie to Bill | Ep. 104: Escape From Dragon House |
| "This isn't the time or the place for you to be marking your territory." | Bill to Sam | Ep. 106: Cold Ground |
| "Vampires are always in some kind of trouble. I prefer to be in it with you." | Bill to Sookie | Ep. 104: Escape From Dragon House |
| "You's a stupid bitch, Jason Stackhouse." | Lafayette | Ep. 105: Sparks Fly Out |
| "If she talked any more shit, she'd look like a turd." | Lafayette | Ep. 106: Cold Ground |
| 'Suppose she gets pregnant. How can she nurse a baby with fangs?" | Arlene | Ep. 107: Burning House Of Love |
| "Come on. I'll show my weiner on your website." | Jason to Lafayette | Ep. 107: Burning House Of Love |
| "Go on and do it! I want you to bite me." | Sookie to Bill | Ep. 106: Cold Ground |
| "Sookie is mine!" | Bill to Liam, Malcolm & Diane | Ep. 103: Mine |
| Sookie: "So, how do I look?"Bill:>"You look like vampire bait.Sookie: "So, you're saying I look nice?" | Sookie & Bill | Ep. 104: Escape From Dragon House |
| "Bill, this is not a date. Ok. I'm for real. It is NOT a date." | Sookie to Bill | Ep. 104: Escape From Dragon House |
| "May I call on you sometime?" | Bill to Sookie | Ep. 101: Strange Love |
| "It's huge and purple. It the size of an eggplant." | ER doctor to Jason | Ep. 104: Escape From Dragon House |
| Mainstreaming's for pussies." | Liam | Ep. 107: Burning House Of Love |
| Tara: "Nothing says 'I'm sorry' like a tuna cheese casserole."Lafayette: "Another one?" | Tara & Lafayette | Ep. 106: Cold Ground |
| "Don't you need a ouija board and some chicken bones?" | Tara | Ep. 107: Burning House Of Love |
| "I just paid four hundred dollars to watch you drown a possum." | Tara | Ep. 107: Burning House Of Love |
| "Maybe I'm just... unboyfriendable." | Tara | Ep. 107: Burning House Of Love |
| "You're just as f***ed up as your bus!" | Tara to Jeanette | Ep. 107: Burning House Of Love |
| "You think about whatever you think about. You're safe as long as you're with me." | Bill to Sookie | Ep. 107: Burning House Of Love |
| Bill:>"Yes, you're Sookie's employer." Sam: "Not when we're off the clock."Bill:>"No, technically, you still are." | Bill & Sam | Ep. 105: Sparks Fly Out |
| "I can bring you back to life." | Bill | Ep. 101: Strange Love |
| "I always look forward to Monday nights. First I watch Heroes, then I have you." | Eddie to Lafayette | Ep. 108: The Fourth Man In The Fire |
| "Look. It's a possum prick." | Terry Bellefleur | Ep. 108: The Fourth Man In The Fire |
| Maxine's thoughts as overheard by Sookie: "I heard they almost cut off her head. I don't see any blood. Should have got here sooner. Maybe I should have brought my red velvet cake instead." | Maxine Fortenberry (in regards to Adele's death) | Ep. 106: Cold Ground |
| "What the f*** is it with white people and jello? Sookie don't need no bad ju ju cookin'. Smell this. You can smell the fear and nastiness coming up off that kern-bread." | Lafayette to Tara | Ep. 106: Cold Ground |
| "You think that it's not magic that keeps you alive? Just 'cause you understand the mechanics of how something works, doesn't make it any less of a miracle, which is just another word for magic. We're all kept alive by magic, Sookie. My magic's just a little different from yours, that's all." | Bill to Sookie | Ep. 103: Mine |
Source: True Blood Wiki
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