Memorable quotes from True Blood season 1 - Part 2

TRUE BLOOD SEASON 1 QUOTE	SPOKEN BY	EPISODE
"You cannot check me out like a library book!"	Sookie	Ep. 108: The Fourth Man In The Fire
"Lift the ribeye. Let me see what we're dealing with."	Tara	Ep. 104: Escape From Dragon House
"I am the worst brother in the world."	Jason	Ep. 108: The Fourth Man In The Fire
Sookie: "Why should I continue seeing you?"Bill: "Because you will never find a human man you can be yourself with."	Sookie & Bill	Ep. 103: Mine
"And the beauty and the tragedy of it is... that you don't know just how different you are."	Bill to Sookie	Ep. 108: The Fourth Man In The Fire
"I just want to lick your mind!"	Jason to Amy	Ep. 108: The Fourth Man In The Fire
"No darlin' we're white. He's dead."	Arlene to Coby	Ep. 105: Sparks Fly Out
"I shoulda known somethin' wasn't right. The second you walked into my life carrying that big bag of crazy. 'Cause any woman with a purse that big is bound ta have somethin' I don't wanna know about."	Jason to Amy	Ep. 109: Plasir D'Amour
"Humans... honestly Bill, I don't know what you see in them."	Eric to Bill	Ep. 109: Plasir D'Amour
"Oh, I'm not here for money. I'm here for Sookie."	Bill to Bartlett	Ep. 107: Burning House Of Love
"Discrimination against vampires is punishable by law in the great state of Louisiana. Personally, I don't give a f***. But I AM THIRSTY."	Malcolm	Ep. 107: Burning House Of Love
Bill: "Tell me, do you enjoy livin' halfway up his backside the way you do?"Pam: "Yes, it's nice. You should try it sometime."	Bill & Pam	Ep. 109: Plasir D'Amour
"Y'all excuse us. I need Sookie upstairs. Just give us a little girl time. Come on Lafayette."	Tara	Ep. 106: Cold Ground
"$799.95 and a couple or rums on the house."	Jeanette to Tara	Ep. 109: Plasir D'Amour
Pam: "If I was a human, I would get chills right about now." Eric: "Not me."	Pam & Eric	Ep. 109: Plasir D'Amour
Pam: "There's vampire in your cleavage."Sookie: "Oh, eww! " Pam: "Here let me get that for you."	Pam & Sookie	Ep. 109: Plasir D'Amour
"Oh, this aint rude. This is upitty. THAT'S FOR PATTIN' MY ASS TO MUCH! IMA GET MY BABY DADDY, WHO JUST GOT OUTTA PRISON, TO COME KICK YOUR TEEF IN!"	Tara	Ep. 101: Strange Love
"I know every man, whether straight, gay, or George mother-f***in’ Bush, is terrified of the p***y."	Lafayette to Sookie & Arlene	Ep. 101: Strange Love
"You don't need any help to look like a fool."	Adele to Jason	Ep. 102: The First Taste
Sookie: "Oh, they’re just staring at me because my brother’s in some kind of trouble with the police. But Bill, did you know Maudette Pickens?"Bill: "I did not. They are staring at us, because I am a vampire, and you are mortal."	Sookie & Bill	Ep. 101: Strange Love
Lafayette: "Hey, hooker. How you doin’? What you doin’ here?"Tara: "I work here."Lafayette: "Oh, no, the hell you don’t."Tara: "Oh, yes, the hell I do too, you ugly bitch. You need to make peace with that."	Lafayette & Tara	Ep. 102: The First Taste
"Your hair is like a sunset after a bomb went off! Pretty."	Terry to Arlene	Ep. 112: You'll Be The Death Of Me
"If we reach out to one another, we can coexist and even thrive together."	Bill to the Descendents of the Glorious Dead	Ep. 105: Sparks Fly Out
"No! No! No! There are rules!"	Bill to Jessica	Ep. 111: To Love Is To Bury
"Hug yer neck!"	Arlene to Terry	Ep. 112: You'll Be The Death of Me
"I want to kill people. I’m so hungry, and all you do is talk, and I’m starving. You’re so mean! You're supposed to take care of me. That’s what you said. And, oh, you SUCK! hahahahahahahaha That’s funny because you Do suck."	Jessica to Bill	Ep. 111: To Love Is To Bury
"You're the worst maker EVER!"	Jessica to Bill	Ep. 111: To Love Is To Bury
''Puto, pendejo, de mierda. It's in Spanish, and it sounds funny as hell."	Tara to Lafayette	Ep. 105: Sparks Fly Out
"There are favors, and then there are FAVORS."	Eric to Bill	Ep. 112: You'll Be The Death Of Me
"Man up my friend. She's only one night old."	Eric to Bill	Ep. 111: To Love Is To Bury
"Don't blame the Ferrari just because yo' ass can't drive."	Lafayette to Jason	Ep. 103: Mine
"I know every man, whether straight, gay, or George mutha" f**king Bush, is terrified of the p***y. "	Lafayette to Dawn, Arlene, and Sookie	Ep. 102: The First Taste
If you're gona accuse me of lying, be a man and say it out loud for pete's sake. Either way im gona hear you, whether you look me in the eye or not. Lets face it, theres not a whole lotta ideas in there. Like mice in a cage. I know youre grasping at straws, but dont drag my borther down with you."	Sookie to Andy Bellfleur in Merlottes Bar after talking to Tara	Ep. 105: Sparks Fly Out
"He kissed you?" "That's none of your business." "WHat else did you do?" "That's really none of your business"	Sam and Sookie on their "date" after the DGD	Ep. 105: Sparks Fly Out
"Bitch, you come in my house, you eat my food the way i f***ing make it! You understand me? Tip your waitress."	Lafayette	Ep. 105: Sparks Fly Out
"My life sucks so much ass"	Jason	Ep. 105: Sparks Fly Out
"First, i get hauled in by the cops. Then, i gotta let a dud drain my Johnson. Thats a f*** of a day"	Jason	Ep. 105: Sparks Fly Out
"Are you asking me out?" "Yeah...thats pretty much how i do it. Sometimes they even say yes."	Sookie and Sam	Ep. 105: Sparks Fly Out
"Sookie, you've got no future with a vampire." "They cant die, ive got nothing but a future with one."	Sookie and Sam	Ep. 105: Sparks Fly Out
"That boy is sex on a stick!"	Lafayette	Ep. 102: The First Taste
"Oh lover, you gonna make me clutch my pearls."	Lafayette to Jason	Ep. 103: Mine
"You never called me back. Now if I remembered what feelings were, mine might be hurt."	Malcom to Bill	Ep. 107: Burning House Of Love
Doctor: "We need to aspirate. I need to drain the blood out of your penis."Tara: "Okay, I'll leave you to it!"Jason: *grabbing Tara's arm* "Where're you goin'?"Tara: "Look, I would admit to sometimes having a sick curiosity about medical shit, but I ain't that fucking curious?"	ER doctor, Jason & Tara	Ep. 104: Escape From Dragon House
"What the f*** is it with white people and Jello?"	Lafayette to Tara	Ep. 106: Cold Ground
"Oh my f***ing God, girl! This is about to get ugly."	Lafayette to Tara at Gran's funeral	Ep. 106: Cold Ground
Pam: "Does your mama know you're here?"Jason: "My mama's dead."Pam: "So am I."	Jason trying to get into Fantasia	Ep. 107: Burning House Of Love
"Do it. I want you to."	Sookie To Bill	Ep. 106: Cold Ground
"F*** me? I'll f*** you, boy. I'll f*** ya and then I'll eat ya."	redneck vampire to guy at the Grabbit Quick	Ep. 101: Strange Love
Eric: "Are you quite attached to your friend?"Bill: "She is mine."Eric: "What a pity. For me."	Eric and Bill	Ep. 104: Escape From Dragon House
"I've got gout... of the dick!"	Jason to Lafayette	Ep. 104: Escape From Dragon House
"You just shut your nasty mouth mister. You might be a vampire, but when you talk to me, you will talk to me like the lady that I am."	Sookie to Bill	Ep. 101: Strange Love
"Well, if you're their poster boy, the mainstreaming movement is in deep trouble. Tru-Blood: It'll keep you alive, but it will bore you to DEATH."	Eric to Bill	Ep. 109: Plasir D'Amour
Bill: "I find myself doubting whether you were ever truly human."Pam: "Thank you."	Bill & Pam	Ep. 111: To Love Is To Bury
Sookie: "Are you sure? She WAS a woman."Jason: "Well, at least she was human."	Sookie & Jason	Ep. 102: The First Taste
"I am vampire."	Bill to Sookie	Ep. 107: Burning House of Love
"That ain't mine, I swear."	Andy Bellefleur to Sookie and Tara upon finding a body in his backseat.	Ep. 112: You'll Be The Death of Me
"Vampire bar wasn't all it was made out to be. I hear there are a lot of freaks and people from Arkansas."	Arlene to Sookie when talking about Fangtasia	Ep. 105: Sparks Fly Out

Source: True Blood Wiki

Memorable quotes from True Blood season 1 - Part 1

TRUE BLOOD SEASON 1 QUOTE	SPOKEN BY	EPISODE
"You're wearing gold pants!"	Jason to Lafayette	Ep. 103: Mine
"Someone needs to get down on my Johnson."	Liam to anyone (Janella did the deed)	Ep. 103: Mine
"Bill, you were just licking blood out of my head. I don't think it gets much more personal than that."	Sookie	Ep. 102: The First Taste
"I'm not so sure you even have another side; you no account backwoods trash!"	Sookie	Ep. 101: Strange Love
"Don't say UH-OH! Vampires do NOT say UH-OH!"	Sookie	Ep. 104: Escape From Dragon House
"Take your clip out? May I? I can smell the sunlight on your skin."	Bill	Ep. 102: The First Taste
"Oh, but you have many other very juicy arteries. There's one in the groin that's a particular favorite of mine."	Bill	Ep. 101: Strange Love
"Sookie, this is very strange."	Bill	Ep. 102: The First Taste
"You're dumber than a box o' hair, and now you can't even get it up?"	Dawn	Ep. 103: Mine
"Giving Jason Stackhouse vampire blood is like giving Ho-Hos to a diabetic. You know he can't control himself."	Tara	Ep. 105: Sparks Fly Out
"'Scuse me. Who ordered the hamburger... with AIDS? In this restaurant, a hamburger deluxe comes with french fries, lettuce, tomato, mayo, and AIDS! Do anyone got a problem wit dat? Aw baby, it's too late for that. Faggots been breeding your cows, raisin' your chickens, even brewin' your beer long before I walked my sexy ass up in this mother f***er. Everything on your God damn table got aids. Well all you gots to do is say hold the aids here. Eat it! Bitch, you come into my house ,you gonna eat the food THE WAY I F***IN' MAKE IT! Do you understand me? Tip your waitress."	Lafayette	Ep. 105: Sparks Fly Out
"Tell me, Sheriff, were any of these unfortunate women found exsanguinated? Were they completely drained of their blood? Because, a fresh corpse, full of blood, would be irresistible to any vampire. (licks his lips!) I dare say, not even I..."	Bill to Bud & Andy	Ep. 105: Sparks Fly Out
I've got gout... of the dick!"	Jason to Lafayette	Ep. 104: Escape From Dragon House
"FANGtasia?"	Sookie to Bill	Ep. 104: Escape From Dragon House
"This isn't the time or the place for you to be marking your territory."	Bill to Sam	Ep. 106: Cold Ground
"Vampires are always in some kind of trouble. I prefer to be in it with you."	Bill to Sookie	Ep. 104: Escape From Dragon House
"You's a stupid bitch, Jason Stackhouse."	Lafayette	Ep. 105: Sparks Fly Out
"If she talked any more shit, she'd look like a turd."	Lafayette	Ep. 106: Cold Ground
'Suppose she gets pregnant. How can she nurse a baby with fangs?"	Arlene	Ep. 107: Burning House Of Love
"Come on. I'll show my weiner on your website."	Jason to Lafayette	Ep. 107: Burning House Of Love
"Go on and do it! I want you to bite me."	Sookie to Bill	Ep. 106: Cold Ground
"Sookie is mine!"	Bill to Liam, Malcolm & Diane	Ep. 103: Mine
Sookie: "So, how do I look?"Bill:>"You look like vampire bait.Sookie: "So, you're saying I look nice?"	Sookie & Bill	Ep. 104: Escape From Dragon House
"Bill, this is not a date. Ok. I'm for real. It is NOT a date."	Sookie to Bill	Ep. 104: Escape From Dragon House
"May I call on you sometime?"	Bill to Sookie	Ep. 101: Strange Love
"It's huge and purple. It the size of an eggplant."	ER doctor to Jason	Ep. 104: Escape From Dragon House
Mainstreaming's for pussies."	Liam	Ep. 107: Burning House Of Love
Tara: "Nothing says 'I'm sorry' like a tuna cheese casserole."Lafayette: "Another one?"	Tara & Lafayette	Ep. 106: Cold Ground
"Don't you need a ouija board and some chicken bones?"	Tara	Ep. 107: Burning House Of Love
"I just paid four hundred dollars to watch you drown a possum."	Tara	Ep. 107: Burning House Of Love
"Maybe I'm just... unboyfriendable."	Tara	Ep. 107: Burning House Of Love
"You're just as f***ed up as your bus!"	Tara to Jeanette	Ep. 107: Burning House Of Love
"You think about whatever you think about. You're safe as long as you're with me."	Bill to Sookie	Ep. 107: Burning House Of Love
Bill:>"Yes, you're Sookie's employer." Sam: "Not when we're off the clock."Bill:>"No, technically, you still are."	Bill & Sam	Ep. 105: Sparks Fly Out
"I can bring you back to life."	Bill	Ep. 101: Strange Love
"I always look forward to Monday nights. First I watch Heroes, then I have you."	Eddie to Lafayette	Ep. 108: The Fourth Man In The Fire
"Look. It's a possum prick."	Terry Bellefleur	Ep. 108: The Fourth Man In The Fire
Maxine's thoughts as overheard by Sookie: "I heard they almost cut off her head. I don't see any blood. Should have got here sooner. Maybe I should have brought my red velvet cake instead."	Maxine Fortenberry (in regards to Adele's death)	Ep. 106: Cold Ground
"What the f*** is it with white people and jello? Sookie don't need no bad ju ju cookin'. Smell this. You can smell the fear and nastiness coming up off that kern-bread."	Lafayette to Tara	Ep. 106: Cold Ground
"You think that it's not magic that keeps you alive? Just 'cause you understand the mechanics of how something works, doesn't make it any less of a miracle, which is just another word for magic. We're all kept alive by magic, Sookie. My magic's just a little different from yours, that's all."	Bill to Sookie	Ep. 103: Mine

Source: True Blood Wiki

True Blood S01 E12 1x12 You'll Be the Death of Me

In the season finale, Sookie finds a link to the string of killings in Bon Temps--and ends up in the murderer's crosshairs. Tara decides to make the most of her second chance with Maryann; Jason finds a new calling after receiving a jail visit.

True Blood S01 E11 1x11 To Love Is to Bury

Bill fulfills the conditions of the tribunal's sentence, although he and Eric find that Jessica doesn't quite turn (out) as expected. Trying to solve the mystery behind her most recent vision, Sookie heads to a pie shop with Sam.

True Blood S01 E10 1x10 I Don't Wanna Know

Caught in a compromising position, Sam shares a secret with an incredulous Sookie. Thinking she's been purged of her demon, Tara celebrates with Lettie Mae--but goes off the deep end when she uncovers Miss Jeanette's true intentions.

True Blood S01 E09 1x09 Plaisir d'Amour

Bill breaks a vampire taboo in protecting Sookie--and must pay a steep price as a result. Jason and Amy break their own taboo by kidnapping a vampire named Eddie to harvest his blood. Tara consults with Miss Jeanette about exorcising an inner demon.

True Blood S01 E08 1x08 The Fourth Man in the Fire

Sookie tries to hold it together in the wake of another possible tragedy. Tara is amazed by Lettie Mae's turnaround, and considers similar therapy for herself after lashing out at Sookie and Sam. Jason's new squeeze charms the crowd at Merlotte's.

True Blood S01 E07 1x07 Burning House of Love

Sookie's painful revelation about her uncle spurs Bill into action. Despite her skepticism, Tara pays for an exorcism to purge a demon out of Lettie Mae. In search of V juice, Jason travels to Fangtasia, where he bonds with a young woman named Amy.

True Blood S01 E06 1x06 Cold Ground

Numbed by tragedy, Sookie looks for refuge from the cacophony of her friends and neighbors' inner voices. After lashing out at his sister and decking Andy, Jason wrestles with withdrawal symptoms from his V-juice habit.

True Blood S01 E05 1x05 Sparks Fly Out

Spurned by Sookie, Bill wins over Adele's church audience with his vivid recollections from the Civil War, though Andy and Bud remain suspicious. Sam tries to make the most of his opportunity with Sookie, though she's clearly not ready to commit.

True Blood S01 E04 1x04 Escape From Dragon House

Another killing in Bon Temps finds Jason back in custody. Tara gets him off the hook, but neither she nor Lafayette has the antidote to his current ailment. Trying to help Jason, Sookie persuades Bill to take her to a vampire bar called Fangtasia.

True Blood S01 E03 1x03 Mine

Foiled in their attempt to 'glamour' Sookie, Malcolm, Liam and Diane retreat after Bill lays claim to her. At Merlotte's, Sam seeks a short-term remedy to his long-term loneliness, while Tara seeks respite from her mother's alcohol-fueled rage.

True Blood S01 E02 1x02 The First Taste

Bill returns Sookie's favor by rescuing her from the Rattrays' revenge, healing the wounded waitress with his own blood and leaving her, temporarily, with heightened senses. Later, she invites him into Gran's house for a 'get-to-know-you' gathering.

True Blood S01 E01 1x01 Strange Love

 

Across the country, vampires have come 'out of the coffin' after the invention of mass-produced synthetic blood. In Louisiana, Sookie Stackhouse, a waitress with telepathic abilities, falls under the spell of a sexy vampire named Bill Compton.

Recap: True Blood S01 E01 1x01 Strange Love - Synopsis

 The series opens with two young adults driving down the road past a store sign advertising Tru Blood. They stop at the store and after a short confrontation with a vampire they take off. Next, Sookie Stackhouse, a waitress at a local bar notices a vampire who walks in and sits down in a booth. After locking eyes with the vampire she confronts him about what he'd like to order. The vampire asks for Tru Blood but due to a lack of local vampire patrons there isn't any in stock. Later Sookie runs out of the bar after the vampire and two people that lured him outside. She finds the two draining the blood from the vampire. Vampire blood is known to enhance the healing process in humans and give a bit of a sex boost. Sookie saves the vampire, who introduces himself as Bill.

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Music: True Blood S01 E01 1x01 Strange Love

• Y'All Think She'd Be Good to Me by CC Adcock

• Goodbye Good Lookin' by Robbie Fulks

• Soulful Garage by Southern Culture on the Skids

• The Dreaming Dead by Jesse Sykes and the Sweet Hereafter

• Strange Love by Slim Harpo

• Lake Charles by Lucinda Williams

• Still Beating by Josh Ritter

• Dang Good Stuff by Kim Lenz and Her Jaguars

• Stumble and Pain by Joseph Arthur

• Bones by Little Big Town

Quotes: True Blood S01 E01 1x01 Strange Love

• Lafayette: (Thinking about Sookie joining Vampire Bill at his table) Looks like she likes 'em tall dark and dead. 

• Sookie: I am NOT psychic! 

• (Customer snaps his fingers to get Tara's attention for a drink)
  Tara: Uh-oh do... do not snap at me. I have a name. And that name is Tara. Isn't that funny a black girl being named after a plantation. No I don't think it's funny at all. In fact it really pisses me off that my momma was either stupid or just plain mean. Which is why you better be nice if you plan on getting a drink tonight.
  Customer: Sorry. 

• (Discussing hookers who specialize in vampires)
  Gran: Wonder how much one would charge for something like that?
  Jason: A thousand bucks.
  Sookie: See, now that just makes me sick.
  Gran: I know. What kind of cheap woman could ever do something like that?
  Sookie: No it makes me sick that they're getting a thousand bucks to lay there and do nothing while I bust my ass for ten bucks an hour plus tips. 

• Vampire Bill: Vampires often turn on those who trust them you know. We don't have human values like you.
  Sookie: Well, humans turn on those who trust them too.

• Denise: You don't wanna be on my bad side.
  Sookie: I'm not so sure you even have another side you no-account backwoods trash. 

• Sookie: What can I do for ya'll tonight?
  Mack: (Thinking) You can wrap your sweet lips around my slim reaper. 

• Woman in bar: (Looking at the man with her thinking) Don't you dare gripe about me eatin' fries. Not after what I did for you last night in the bedroom. Which, by the way, was disgusting. Although I kind of enjoyed it.

• Camo-clad vampire: (To the clerk who pretended to be a vampire) You ever pretend to be one of us again and I'll kill ya. Got it?
  Clerk: Yeah.
  Vampire: (Flashing fangs) Have a nice day now. 

• Sookie: (Realizing there is a vampire in the bar) I have been waiting for this moment since they came out of the coffin two years ago. 

• Teenager: (Thinking) What the hell is this music? Man, I can not wait to get the hell out of this podunk town.
  Sookie: (Responding to the teen's thoughts as if he spoke out loud) Well make sure you do, and before it's too late. Because every year you wait you just get more and more stuck here. Believe me, I know.
  Teenager: (Thinking) How'd she know what I was thinking. That's weird. 

• Nan: We're citizens. We pay taxes. We deserve basic Civil Rights just like everyone else. 

• Lafayette: Hey, Hookah. How you doin'? what are you doing here?
  Tara: I work here.
  Lafayette: Oh, no the hell you don't!
  Tara: Oh, yes the hell I do too, you ugly bitch.
  Lafayette: Shit. Sam must've lost his damned mind because you should not be allowed to work in no situation where you actually have to interact with the people. 

• Jason: I hooked up with Maudette last night, we had sex. That's all.
  Andy: How would you characterize the sex?
  Jason: Eh, it was okay. 

• Tara: If I did work here...
  Sam: It would only be a matter of time before you went off on somebody. I don't wanna drive my customers away.
  Tara: I only go off on stupid people.
  Sam: Most of my customers are stupid people. 

• Sookie: (Covering her neck with silver) I'm not a total fool.
  Bill: Oh, but you have other very juicy arteries. There is one in the groin that is a particularly favorite of mine.

• Tara: My life sucks.
  Sookie: Tara, don't you be feelin' sorry for yourself. That's just lazy.
  Tara: But why can't I keep a job?
  Sookie: Maybe because you can't keep your mouth shut.
  Tara: Bitch, who asked you?

Trivia: True Blood S01 E01 1x01 Strange Love

• Vampire Bill Compton is 173 years old. 

• The frat boy and sorority girl, Kelly, pull over at the "GrabbitKwik" convenience store. Maudette Pickens, the murdered woman, is mentioned to be an employee at "GrabbitKwik". 

• Nan Flanagan of the American Vampire League is shown on television doing an interview with Bill Maher. Bill Maher is host of the talk show Real Time with Bill Maher which also airs on HBO. 

• The camo-clad hunter/vampire purchases the synthetic drink "Tru Blood" in the form of a 4-pack of bottles. Typically wine coolers are sold in 4-packs, beer is generally sold in 6-packs. The tag line for "Tru Blood" is "Real Blood is for suckers!" 

• When Sookie comes home from work the first night, her grandmother is reading Last Scene Alive, written by Charlaine Harris who also wrote the Sookie Stackhouse books "True Blood" is based on.